Friday, December 28, 2007


I took my shirt off and sat in bed with my back against the wall like I do every night. I read often but inconsistently so usually I just grab whatever book I find closest to me. Reading feels good on my brain and if what I am reading intrigues me I feel as if my life becomes narrated and everything I do is being carefully charted with colorful vocabulary. Sometimes I don't sleep alone. Sometimes my sweet lady falls asleep with me and I stay up long enough to feel her beautiful body twitch into r.e.m. It is good to fall asleep happy. A good hot shower before bed helps and I don't mind that cold feeling of wet pillow from wet hair when I randomly wake up in the middle of the night.

I talked to an old friend the other day. She told me I broke her heart and hung up the phone on me before I could tell her that I miss her. I'd later fall asleep with part of my halloween costume on that I found. It smells like cigarettes. I woke up hungover on Neal's couch but sometimes a hangover can be motivating. I know I have one bottle (glass) of coke in my parents' fridge and that will prompt me to get my ass out of bed and trek home.

A few days ago my mates found some Ukrainian woman at the bar and somehow she ended up back at the loft only to make a fool of herself and fart on the boypile. That was the coldest night I've had in a long time. It's hot in Samoa even at night and I don't know if I have completely adjusted to this whole winter thing even though I've been back for six months. Earlier that night I tried my hand at randomly asking people geography questions. "hey can I ask you something? what is the capital of Columbia?" Americans are pretty shitty at geography but some people will surprise you.

My new loft smells a little like the old Trumbull house. That musty aged-Detroit smell that lingers no matter where in the city you call home. Our loft is surrounded by windows and as soon as the place is clean I'm going to find a window I like best and sit in front of it with my shirt off reading books.

I look into the eyes of my friends and see a glimpse of the rich history we've had together. I would take a bullet, knife wound, pitchfork, cannonball or tomahawk for any of them because in a way they already have done something better for me. Sometimes I put my head back and thank whatever divine force it is that governs this universe (I call him Zuul) for the company I have been blessed with.

So yeah.. that's about it. I'm pretty well these days. I start teaching in a short while and I'm super stoked. Teachers are sexy. I met a pretty Italian girl yesterday whose energy was really cool. She's excited about traveling and I recommended Peace Corps to her. I'll get off this island again, I'm not worried about that. I'm just taking this time to figure some things out and reevaluate what it is that inspires me most. I still have many demons but they, as well as myself, are very tired and we could all use a nap. I once waited at the shores of a marina waiting for my ship to come. Now I sit by the edge of a tall building waiting for the wind to get strong enough to lift me. Hands are to the sky and feet are bare.. close my eyes..