Wednesday, April 28, 2010

today i feel..


i like surprises. i think i'm going to begin dedicating more time to the element of surprise and frankly not expect anything at all.. therefore everything is a surprise right? so goes the story of istanbul; i can safely say that i have not seen any of this coming my way. everyday is just silly and right when i think i'm bored something comes from the opposite end of the cosmos and makes me giggle in my sleep. i like this last stretch of time before traveling east. i'm enjoying myself. today.. today.. what will become of today? originally i was looking forward to the infamous protests of may 1st but now i think its quite stupid. its just a shit-show of an excuse for people to break windows and throw rocks at police. im going to taksim today to enjoy it before it burns down on saturday.

surprise visitors are the best. realistically, any visitor i have these days is a surprise to some degree. usually nobody comes to see me in other countries. come mid-june my house will become a hostel. i have five friends coming into town and an old friend/former resident of my apartment is coming. that fact, mixed with ben and i promises a great deal of debauchery.

a dark tavern on a nameless day brought great conversation with a friend i almost lost. i know how your eyes look. i never forget how they look. you aren't losing my friendship that easily.

yaşıyorum ve seviyorum

slow and painful seperation

pandora's box didn't happen in one instant

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

its easier to see edgar as entity not as condition inside you and me


this looming old friend of yours who visits so often that she no longer comes as a surprise. you like her though. you chose her. i bet shes better than her bastard step-cousin, the one that visits in the form of a screaming from the inside of your soul begging you to break free.


dont keep yourself with uncertainty for too long. theres a pretty song in the air, just listen to it and try not to think about anything but the song.

i still wanna walk this earth like it is mine. hậlậ gidiyorum :)

Sunday, April 25, 2010

someone please pray for my father

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

hala gidiyorum... egypt gibi... bulgaristan gibi... we know the danger...


it was kind words from a traveler and old friend who understands more than the hollow words within the blue covered pages of any travel book.. the wrinkles from every corner of each of her eyes tell stories.. each tell a story. come with me. please come with me.. its getting real.. i cant do this alone.. right?

Saturday, April 10, 2010


to all the ironies, blessings and idiosyncracies that were bestowed upon me today:

it is written..

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

read it in the strata

the goodbye's dont mean anything. its the hello-hug that matters most to me. its the hug that follows immediately after the first hug that says, 'god i've missed you guys', and suddenly you feel like you are home again. for seven days i am home. i was tired at first, slapped with jet-lag and insomnia. there was a hazy glow to the faces of everyone i've comed to call family for the last eight years and then a surprise visit from an old friend connects the full circle of life under the principles of which everything will eventually come to be. at first i was worried about coming home but i feel stronger now, i am ready to return to my new home in istanbul.

bolder, broader eyes and a slight shift of my brow brings me to the next chapter of my travels.. and it is fracking huge.. armed with a few new supplies and a one person tent for shelter i am beginning to see the proverbial ship on my horizon. something enormous is calling to me from the far east and i am preparing. i dont yet know what to think of my journey and knowing myself i would bet that i remain this way until the moment i begin. i want to see istanbul shrink behind me to the west as i make those first steps towards the black sea coast. this week is more or less the three month pre-aniversery of my departure and things are about to pick up from here; there is work to be done. i dont know when i'll be back again.

every journeyman feels a calling. they know to listen to it and they know the dangers of ignoring it for too long. that voice slowly disappears into the sands of some endless desert and burried like ancient ruins it slowly becomes a memory. we know better. you know better. it burns from within us. it sticks to our faces like sleep lines and we are always dreaming. just go, man... i respectively become silent... i wont tell it again.

for now i will become quiet, a wide-eyed and open-minded listener. the sun is warm in istanbul, she welcomes me to relax. one day i will watch her set on the far off horizon behind me as i plunge myself into the most epic journey my lifetime has taken me thus far. god bless.

jesus and mary

i love you mom and dad!