tobermory bound

au sable return

volleyball superstars!

i live in a villa 50 feet above the ground, watching out my window is better than television.

summer lillies mean that it is half way through summer and they came out maybe a few weeks ago. they are orange so naturally they are among my favorite. one of the churches plays its church bells often and i like them. i have scrapes on my knees. my bike is the best thing thats ever happened to me. i should play guitar more. saturday night was exactly what i needed. brrr meow!

oh mah goodness

wednesday night july 23rd, 2008 was a mighty interesting night. end of story.

tomorrow we embark to canoe 120 miles down the Au Sable. three days later i drive 263 miles to the Georgian Bay. whilest on the river i drink heavily and cuss. whilst in Canada i contemplate time, distance and space for about 1/3 of a lunar month.

school soon.

John Anton Christensen

eve-a

sunrunner

RIP - Albert we miss you

Romeo, thou art a villain

being riddled with uncertainty is a constant reminder that life is one big gamble. i try not to get too caught up in the steps i'm forced to take in the wrong direction but i'd rather be happy that i have the drive to get back on path. when i was younger inspiration was easy to find and i've been wondering why on earth it is such a challenge these days however i think i'm catching on. inspiration (by definition) is really just a time of breathing in. i've both been inspired and had the privilege to inspire others but now days i have to look a bit deeper. i wont lie. most of my slumpiness is because i fret about money and worry about how i'm going to pay for school but fuck it. whats the use of worrying? i have food and shelter and i am constantly blessed in life so really i should be dancing.

the deeper reality is that i dont really care to go back to school. i'd rather be mending fishing nets in a small village in perhaps indonesia. that could be fun for a while but i get my sea-side fix at the marina and girls don't tend to swoon for net-mending the way they would for a college professor.. oh yeah.. i'd look good in a blazer with elbows sewn on.

but really i sometimes replay my life in my head as if it were a movie in fast motion and after skipping through all the details i find that i had a pretty damn cool run for it. i like thinking in this way because i realize how awesome things have been for me and it makes me excited about tomorrow. for real - tomorrow, THURSDAY - anything could happen. i could get a phone call from an old friend or i could be there to see a bird nose dive and catch a fish or maybe i'll catch a glimpse of a turtle.

i like to look at old photographs that i'm in because sometimes i dont recognize myself. it's not like i've changed a ton but i look much more innocent back then. innocent and naive about the world. but now i feel like i'm ready to take on things and i dont have any inhibitions about trying just about anything or getting into trouble just for the love of the game. i look at those old pictures and i see the face of someone who is trapped within himself. the good thing is that in that person i see a lot of promise that would one day lead up to whatever it is that i am now. and i like who i am now.

strange women

it's something like 3:30 am at an afterhours bar downtown Detroit. the night began many hours ago and all sense of reality has dwindled into hazy bits of memory. our tribe migrates in different herds and at different points in the night we have crossed paths. however a great disturbance of the night forcefully removed myself and one of my nearest and dearest from a bar i frequent too often thus causing the circumstantial events of that night be skewed and the great wheel in the sky to take another spin. *ps dont climb the fence at old miami.. they'll catch you..

we do this to ourselves and we do it because we love it. we yell and make our presence known. people know us wherever we go and we are both loved and hated. our tribal connection is so thick that even the smallest of us fear nothing from any man because wherever we are there is a crowd of crazies right behind us with nothing to lose. they know us by the way we've painted our bodies or the way we rarely wear shirts. they know us by our love for the city and our reputation for hyper-defense at the moment our village is disrespected by collar-popped suburbanites. each of us are truly beautiful and at times a bit too much to handle for any decent relationship. but each of us are a catch and those who walk with us know our fortunes well.

so it's something like 3:30 am.. i've long since separated from my tribe. i did this on purpose by means of tequila with strangers in order to see the city from a different perspective. i do this sometimes and those who know me well have dubbed me with a reputation for wandering off. the bars have closed except for a few exclusive locations that don't even open until perhaps 2:30 and i dont even know the name of the place i ended up at. the weirdos and freaks come out at night. those who dont even go out until midnight. the party is just getting started now however for me i've been playing for hours and tonight is getting lucid.

strange women came out that night. i met them through one of my friends who is perhaps the strangest of women. women who know abandoned buildings better than their own backyards. women who have eerie tattoos and hair that you shouldn't touch. women that do more drugs than you knew existed. a tribe of women who have crossed paths with ours however without sustainability. gorgeous women..

i came slumping home a few hours later surprised to see an old friend of mine at my loft. few were still up but those who were could barely walk straight. she is a Detroit expat among a great few of us who took the journey away from our fair city to pursue a different perspective on life. it was great to see her. as for that night i fell asleep on the couch and heard howling at the moon in the distance. a smell of campfire was brewing outside and a cigarette was still dwindling in the ashtray. my feet were dirty and my shoulder was bruised from when i was bit by a strange woman.

next time let me do the talkin'

you know it's a good book when you start hearing a narrator in your head after you read it. my life has been kind of like that ever since i read 'the alchemist'. it ended poopily but the first 98% was really wonderful. it was about a boy who left home to be a shephard. he has these prophetic dreams telling him of a far off treasure in a distant land. i like how that book made me feel. but the ending sucked.

i used to like rpgs. i still like rpgs. but i also used to like rpgs. build a character and give him/her different attributes. i like the ones where you can follow different paths based on your actions and growth as a character. i wanna be a black mage. learn fire spells and wear that cool hat.
i want to live in a witch house or at least a house that looks like a witch could have lived there at some point. i want to have jars of random herbs and newts layin all around. my garden outside would have all sorts of strange carved things and there were be hex-removing incantations written on my walls. i would never tend to my yard but let it grow into a forrest with big mushrooms bangin around.