once i loved a sailor once a sailor loved me

i sit in a filthy post-apocalyptic apartment beaten to hell by a wild party last night. i've been a traveling man for quite some time now and this year especially i have decided not to be still. that is until now when i lay my head on the first pillow to belong to me since January 2nd this year. last night's party was evidence that i officially 'live' somewhere and the feeling is quite nice. i've always been a person to make new years resolutions and actually keep them. this years new years resolution was to take traveling to the next level and it has been a perfect year for it. next year's resolution is already in the front of my mind: to be better. just better. better at everything. i'm over the whole self-destruction leads to self-improvement thing and now i'm onto the path of discipline. i've got a lot to live up to.

this begins with meditation, both in the traditional and non-traditional way. after i return from egypt i will likely have a long stretch of time that i will not be traveling outside of istanbul. i was originally frustrated by this and perhaps i will be again before long but in this moment i would like to see the advantages of being a hermit for a while. my travels to kyrgyzstan next year will not be easy and i could use this time to focus my energy on the future. in that time i must become better. when i return to the states after all of this is said and done i will lay on my parents' floor and rest my tired body. i will see my friends again and my eyes will be bigger and my heart will be fuller.