3rd deconstruction

+1 vize kazakistan :)


like pieces of detroit-abandon that literally fell into my bedroom window many years ago, so too do my memories deconstruct. the 7th anniversary of every cell in my body reestablishing themselves like living reincarnation. all is different now. the columns of the trumbull house are now yellow. i've woken up before the alarm went off and i will continue to dream.. with sleep lines on my face..

when the city lights stop blinkin'

its the uncertainty that fuels me most. i was frustrated this week. the azerbaycan consulate was a pain in my ass and i was lead astray by a series of ill-fated and poorly documented addresses. i sat in the rain an hour and a half from home looking up to what turned out to be the georgian consulate unknowingly addressed wrong and providing me with absolutely no progress closer to my goal. you have no choice but to laugh things like this off, what is the difference i suppose..

self-separation is a curious thing. it is a process by which i've often sworn would be painless and focused yet i'm more distracted now that ever. i lose the battle against my decision to be calm and focused before my trip but rather i play the reverse side of a water jug as a drum all night and yell with my friends. this too shall pass, but god i'm going to miss these guys..

i was asked by a student today if i believe in destiny. i told him that destiny is a voice in your head that calls to you. if you ignore this voice you are ignoring your destiny and before long that voice will silence itself and you will wonder for all times what that voice wanted from you. i know better.

i'm at the starting gates of a wild adventure. i've said be bold but now i saw be bold yet smart. it is 'smart' that is going to keep me together.

remember me from time to time friends.. i'm scared to wander off into the wilderness but its for the love of the game that i wander. i'll return.. with wider eyes and a voice more richer upon the ears.

take me to your leader

и ванна валк тхис еартх лике ит ис мине!



"to the dearest of fishes.............


how do you express to people that you're leaving them? it's nothing personal but they tend to make it seem that way..it makes me feel selfish even though i know its not"

-Dayna Laube



in fact i am selfish.. we are selfish.. i never thought of this before but too often we look at the world and ask 'whats in it for us?' as if somehow this could manifest itself into a deeper purpose. we rationalize by saying things like 'i want to help people' and 'i want to learn' but what does that even mean? well i thought about it.. and justifyingly as it may be i've discovered what makes me understand my responsibility as a traveler. i remember when i was back home a few months ago and my father said something really meaningful to me. he explained that through me and my stories of travel that he can learn more about the world and other cultures. some people may never travel to some places we have seen and some people have never even heard of half of the countries we've been to but it is our responsibility to educate the rest of the world about the meaninglessness of borders. this whole idea of border was made by mankind, someone i've never trusted whole-heartedly anyway. after crossing border after border we realize that difference is none. so perhaps education is my self-justification for selfish globe trotting. that and pictures.. i like pictures.

they have a saying in turkish which actually has some Farsi roots in its diction. the saying is..

"bir lisan, bir insan.. iki lisan, iki insan.."

it means "one language one person.. two languages, two people.." i couldnt agree more. now that my turkish is taking off (shut up.. i'm trying!) i begin to see the truth in this famous old quotation. its like infiltrating a different world and i must admit that its nice to understand what people are saying about you.

i like this place.. this planet i mean.. i enjoy my short stay here and the limitless bounties of mystery it holds. i like you too.. most of you.. i wont step on your path if you dont step on mine. lets remember our path of sacred and try this love thing out. it feels nice and when it sleeps next to you sometimes you can feel its breath on your back.



Ya Rayah by Dahmane El Harrachi

Oh where are you going?
Eventually you must come back
How many ignorant people have regretted this
Before you and me

How many overpopulated countries and empty lands have you seen?
How much time have you wasted?
How much have you yet to lose?
Oh emigrant in the country of others
Do you even know what's going on?
Destiny and time follow their course but you ignore it

Why is your heart so sad?
And why are you staying there miserable?
Hardship will end and you no longer learn or build anything
The days don't last, just as your youth and mine didn't
Oh poor fellow who missed his chance just as I missed mine

Oh traveler, I give you a piece of advice to follow right away
See what is in your interest before you sell or buy
Oh sleeper, your news reached me
And what happened to you happened to me
Thus, the heart returns to its creator, the Highest (God)





رشيد طه - يا رايح



يا رايح وين تسافر تروح تعيي وتولينى
ايش حال ندموا العباد الغافلين قبلك وقبلى

ايش حال شفت البلدان العامرين والبر الخالى
ايش حال ضيعت اوقات وايش حال زيد ما زال تخلى
يا الغايب فى بلاد الناس ايش حال تعيي ما تجرى
تزيد وعد القدرة ولى الزمان وانت ما تدرى

علاش قلبك حزين وعلاش هكدا كى الزوال
ما تدوم الشدة ولا تزيد تعلم وتبنى
ما يدومولى الايام ولا يدوم صغرك وصغرى
ويا حليلو المسكين اللى غاب سعده كى زهرى

يا مسافر نعطيك وصية تيجاها ع البكرى
شوف ما يصلح ليك قبل ولا تبيع ولا تشرى
يا النايم جانى خبرك كى ماصرالك صار لى
هكدا رد القلب والجبين..سبحان العالى

English Time level 3 morning family