Thursday, June 09, 2011

waking up.. and having absolutely no idea where you are

i've met some extraordinary people on this trip. so extraordinary that i feel as if they stand out in my memories of this travel even more than the fantastic places i've washed ashore. yet i write this at a time of solidarity. its that same sensation of being alone with a backpack and a map of the world while nobody on the entire planet knows where you are. perhaps this is when you're most vulnerable, but i think not; this is when you are an open canvas looking to paint your picture with the colourful people you come across. people think that my type of person is on the run from something and i cant find the correct words to battle that opinion. or maybe i just wish that nobody reads this article so i can be completely honest about the subject.

i'll be 30 soon and i'm super stoked about this. one of the biggest inspirations of my slightly younger years was a man who said to me that your 20's is your time to explore and your 30's is your time to build. i can only imagine what kind of vessel i'll build for myself and where my future travels will take me. i've seen the farthest corners of this earth in the last six years and i'm proud of every step i've taken. but if its time to build i'm faced with one question; will i build an army or will i build a ship and sail away?

i've gotten by very well in life because i've never thought that i was important, or more important that everyone else. makes me wonder if a frog meets the end of its life kicking and screaming to the sky or if he simply closes his eyes and gently becomes the same dust we were created from. we all die alone.

with respect to whoever reads this i have to keep things that i say respectfully obscure. but man i cant stop thinking of one of the most extraordinary people i've met a few weeks ago that caused me to rethink everything i've been written by. he was suffering yet he had this laugh that melts ice. i cant forget his laughter and i cant say that i've ever laughed that hard. maybe its me who is suffering. never seen anything like it. i miss you bro.

i've packed my bags and i'm heading back to Ohrid. its not important why, i simply want to. i've found a lot of love in so many ways in that city and i'd love to be reunited with that kind of beauty before next week when i am reunited with the greatest beauty the gods have shown me.

Ohrid is said to be the Jerusalem of the orthadox faith. 365 monasteries and churches to the 365 orthadox saints. the water is much cleaner than my conscience and the weather is as unpredictable as life itself.

life and love both operate by the same principles of chance and uncertainty.. yet is life not love and love not life all the same?


Jetmir Idrizi said...

Very beautiful written , bravo bro, hope you are enjoying Ohrid, keep up your beautiful spirit and enjoy life as much as you can, hugs

Anonymous said...

sono orgogliosa di te !!!

chtisanthos ;)