in between the raindrops

when i first left delhi i paid a visit to a fortune teller who told me i could walk between the raindrops.  maybe he saw my concern for the pending monsoon to the east or maybe he predicted something really special that i have come to embrace entirely in the passing weeks.  i've watched uncertainty and chance turn into part of a daily life out here; part of a balanced breakfast almost.  we're told to pay attention to coincidences and to listen to the advice we are given from chance encounters wheras they come from those who carry messages. i had realized upon the sunset last night that i need a moment to sit back and listed to the messages i am carrying inside of me.

i wrote the words 'what was the message?' on a scrap piece of raid-soaked paper next to my bed last night. i went home so early that i could watch the energy of the evening just beginning in the streets of pokhara as i walked through.  i didn't want to go drinking or see people i know but rather to spend some time in my head.  so i showered and began the routine and before long it wasnt later than 21:00 that i decided to sleep.  realistically i havent slept in days so a night of twelve hours of sleep sounded quite tempting and i knew i would be deep asleep before long having wild dreams.  so i listened to my thoughts and began to catch the nonsense they tried to fool me with.  you should be mindful of them as they will mislead you.  at first i replayed situations in my head of which i've experienced in the last few days.  i saw myself at the live nepali rock show i went to a few days ago with my friend matt.  i could see the stage from exactly where i was standing however when i tried to move i realized that i had no concept of the stage from across the way.  i thought to myself that perhaps dreams are a bit like this and this is why they are so confusing.  i could only see and manipulate things of which i have already experienced and when i hadnt experienced something i make it up as i go along.

all the while i wondered what the message was.  i saw bridges built over large bodies of rushing water.  i saw a house very similar to a house i used to live in.  i saw animals from all over the world.  i saw old friends and my father.  i saw food that i could almost smell and of course i could hear the rain.  alas i recieved no message and that now dry note is still next to my bed with no response.

i thought about words i've heard from a strange idol of mine, mr. erdem yucel, who once rode his motorcycle completely around the world.  he said how he'd find himselves asking the same questions months into his journey and he never really found the answers to those questions.  at this point in my life i dont think it is in our power to find the answers to questions as we travel but perhaps to listen to the words of those we meet and the writings of those who came before.

now here i sit in a tiny lakeside village in nepal, a place i have dreamed of coming to for many years.  my heart has overflown with happiness and i rarely wear shoes.  in fact i dont walk in between raindrops, not in any literal sense, i walk too slowly for that.  i just raise my arms and look to the sky when i'm walking home at night all alone.  i smile and give thanks to the universe for the blessings which it has poured down on me.  i'll be in lumbini soon.