all the love that i've found

as those among us walk with no direction and march with incredible speed i wonder to myself where we are going and why we are moving so fast. their faces look emotionless or confused and their desires are displayed clearly leaving no room for imagination. a man turns to check out the view of a pretty girl from behind and a child stares endlessly at the passerby of a different race as if they are an alien. and quickly they walk to their offices and to their jobs and to their processed lunches and to their television sets. and all the while they swear they know where they are going without ever stopping to ask for directions. the looks on their faces are priceless.

somehow we feel this need to validate every moment we exist as if we are trying to assemble some sort of bigger meaning to our lives in the hopes that our destinies will be fulfilled. why do we do this? why is it that we must analyze every moment as if it means something? a moment is what it is and just in the same liking as matter, it cannot be created or destroyed. each moment bears a faint resemblence to something we reach so desperately for when sometimes we'd be better off staying in bed. is there a better way? brother things can always be better than this..

seek first old men. fill them with whiskey and ask them about the good old days. seek secondly small children. fill them with candy and ask them about the future. finally seek yourself and fill yourself with love and empathy and ask yourself about where you fit in the world.

as it has been said to me, "it's your world, i'm just living in it.." i could find no greater truth than those words as i have come to understand that to each individual the world revolves around each of us. i am a character in everybody else's lives. i am a supporting actor and i am no more real than the impression i give. i am a smile from a pretty girl and i am a cold stare from someone who wishes me harm. i am a collection of every experience i have ever come to know and i am accountable for every breath i take. we have searched for love and found each other.. whoever we are.. and we are no more deserving than our brothers. when life blesses us with love we take it for granted and often fail to kiss each other goodnight. but there is love. and this love is available to those who open their hearts. and this love operates by chance and uncertainty; should we ignore it then it shall be no more real than the fleeting illusions of our fantasies.

salem,
mookfish