how strange it is...

one day a long time ago i was sitting on the balcony above the peace corps office in apia, samoa with some friends talking about times come and gone. i believe the man i was talking to was named brian and he had been away from home much longer than i had ever been and i'll never forget something he said to me. he told me 'the world will continue to turn with or without you' and it really sunk deep inside of me. i thought of my friends dan and beth, who at that time were engaged to be married, and it although it didn't hurt to be gone it did make me realize that i had wandered far far away from anything i've ever called home.

i remember thinking that day about all the people in the world who have ever felt love from another human being. what a shame it is that we can only spend so little time together and we take for granted every breath we are given. but thats just life. we will one day die and our remains will slowly dust off along with all memories of us and the concept is simply too great for us to fathom or question; we simply accept it and are better off for not thinking too much about it.

i've become an anthropologist or as i like to call it, an 'archaeologist without a shovel'. i've seen the dust of civilization and i've seen the stones we've stacked in the memory of humans. some are great pyramids and monuments to the gods while others are small tombstones in homage to our lost loved ones may the gods rest them.

the passing of time is enjoyable. seventy-some years seems like a lifetime yet 5.000 years seems like the blink of an eye yet so much has happened. i'm no religious person, more of an evolutionary biologist and although i think humans are humbled before their own advancements i still think we have been dealt some amazing cards, i.e. bipedialism or the missionary position (dont laugh. its a phenomenon of the human species that allowed us to continue our evolution into upright mammals.)

in our achievements we've left behind these fascinating stone structures that really blow my mind and i've seen them on essentially every continent. sometimes i like to muse myself with out of this world theories about the aliens who left them behind or the portals they hide from under. i ask myself questions about why they occurred so congruently around the world in essentially the same manner however unbeknownst to other civilizations.. or perhaps there weren't (and aren't) any coincidences.

moreover it is in these great monuments to man that i think of the simplicity of things. i think of dan and beth and the friends i've made. i think of our abilities as humans to form such meaningful relationships that become the foundations of our existence. i think about the achievements of man and my complete and utter disinterest in adding to our accomplishments. i'm simply a wanderer and forever a learner, perpetually curious about humans. i'm 30 and i feel the same as i did when i was 8 years old thinking i was a tiny alien mixed in with the humans lost from my tiny spaceship. i spent a long time disliking this world and for that i'm very sorry, however by the time the tides of teenage angst had receded i again found myself curious and thirsty for learning.

i'll wander and continue to wander while drawing little pictures on mirrors or leaving insightful words on scraps of paper in strangers' pockets. i think this world has turned out to be pretty cool and even if it turns with or without me i'm just glad its spinning at all.

oh yeah.. i'm going to india soon and hopefully nepal. thats fucking great :)