kestane

its a lazy day in this tiny apartment bedroom nestled somewhere in istanbul. i'm still wearing my sleep and i might take it with me all day. although i cannot directly see them, there are perhaps a dozen people somewhere outside my window, many floors up and down, having conversations that all seem to be about the nice weather. i'm in no rush to get outside. today is my version of a sunday. before long i'll have no home to rest in. this feeling is all too familiar. it is a feeling as if no song is stuck in my head besides the sounds of birds chirping and sweet wind blowing through the cracks of my open window. a great proverbial storm is coming towards me and in approximately nine weeks i'll be thrown back into the beautiful chaos of travel that i have created for myself every year. i humor myself with videos and travel blogs of nepal and websites noting which bus a traveler should take or which train to avoid and it really just makes me laugh at how useless it really is. you cant truly find out these things until you arrive in a new country and this time around i'm sure the first few days will be a rough landing. ..and i'll be alone. alone is good for you. it gives one time to think and to develop. alone gives us a chance to face our fears and overcome them not for the bragging rights however for our own personal gain; nobody is there to see you fail or succeed. today is such a sweet day. i'm gathering excitement for the second and probably final time i leave my apartment which is only to gather fruit from the market down the hill. i dont want to see anybody. i want to hide and play guitar or read a book. chaos is boiling somewhere in the not-so-distant future and i want to be ready to embrace it when it arrives. if i've never said before, i currently reside in the most beautiful city in the world. its impossible not to take istanbul for granted and if you ever wander to this faraway ancient city you will know exactly what i mean. i'm leaving her behind for a while.. actually a long while, but i will return and be greeted again by my favorite smell of kestane roasting in the streets - a smell that always makes me realize i'm home. i could write pages about my future plans for this next year or so but i think i'll save some for the mystery of things. all i can say for now is that this is going to be one hell of a year and i've taken a new approach to my travels once again. i'm on a mission to seek the colorful and the delicious; the amazement to the senses and life is really becoming interesting for me. if i drew a map to show the plans i have for this year it would look more like a cat's cradle of yarn than a respectable plan but nevertheless i'm to set sail soon. i can feel it. i know great things are to come.