waiting for an uncertain fate that never came

an early afternoon cup of çay and good conversation with a friend, a documentarian from England, left me wondering and curious.  it is in these beautiful moments on rooftop cafe's of İstanbul that i look over the bospherus below and take in the past years of my life.  it is in this time that i can trace the paths i've drawn long ago and learn how i came to be in this life that i have written for myself today.

i love conversations with other travelers because these are some of the best times we have to share our stories with people who can truly empathize with the experiences we've had around the world.  my documentarian friend has seen more of my country than i ever knew existed and i can name more villages in central asia than he could imagine.  it's in this curiosness and self-reflection that i narrate in my head the story i've created for myself.

it goes something like this..

i was born just outside of Detroit, Michigan in a city called Saint Clair Shoes and some 30 years later i've wandered to the cultural heart of the ancient world in a city called İstanbul.  everything that comes in between makes up the thick pages of a book i never knew would be so interesting.  i'm sitting on a rooftop with a well-traveled friend coloring in the paint-by-number map of the world bragging and comiserating of the places we've seen only to realize that there is so much more out there.  we order round after round of bitter red çay and speak with the locals in a language i knew virtually nothing of only a few short years ago.  i feel blessed.

today is a beautiful day.  i wonder whats next.

i'm in the part of İstanbul i once called home and now it is a place i seldom visit.  i make random appearances and try to find my home from the skyline resting on the european continent in the distance.  i'm going to miss this place.  i can only wonder how much more room i have in my heart to fall in love with new places but my capacity for curiosity has never stopped surprising me.

work sucks.  it leaves you with grease and sleeplines on your face but its part of life.  soon my work will come to an end and i'll pull Alice out of her dark hiding place and together we will wander around the world yet again.

together we wait for an uncertain fate that never came.

i advise you, from traveler to fellow traveler, that you must learn the practice of balance.  i've met so many people who have packed large bags and bought guide books of entire continents.  they set out into the world and draw lines from site to site but we must learn that we cannot conquer this world.  we are visitors like strangers in a foreign town and we must learn to find the balance between wandering and learning.  i encourage you to take some time to get to know the places you have wandered to and draw from them everything you can learn.  someday soon i will be in Nepal slowly traveling from village to village in no particular hurry at all.  i've heard it will be monsoon season.  fantastic.

the author of this blog is a very happy person who has learned so much from this very interesting planet.  he really likes people even though they have wronged him from time to time.  no two of them have ever been alike and he has learned to accept them for what they are.  he just wants to know what it is that drives them.

i write every word like it is my last.  if i have ever wronged any one of you then i'm sorry.  i'm only here to learn and perhaps offer a bit to be taught.  İstanbul, you have been good to me and should my voice fade in your ears and my love vanish in your memory i'll come back one day with a richer heart and lips more yielding to the spirit will i speak.